your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
