She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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