Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
