Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
