very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize