Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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