Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
