I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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