i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
