i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
my poor anus
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
