No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
