i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
