This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
