I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize