He kissed a someone with a penis
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
