So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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