similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
