Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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