He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
