He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
