Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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