So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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