take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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