NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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