How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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