i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
