oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
