Dual....:-)
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize