she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
