I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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