I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it was like eating out sand paper
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
