Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
