First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
