I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
