I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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