Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I see more hoeing in ur future
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