in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
