Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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