If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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