I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize