Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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