He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i barfeds in our rink
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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