I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
