look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
