Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Im part way to drunk.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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