this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
