Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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