just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize