Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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