ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
