yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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