i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
