new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
