I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
