do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
