Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
