All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
