I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
