why didn't you poke me back
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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