school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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