your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
