WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
