I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
