That's intense
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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