I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
