Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
