David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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