Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize