On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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