Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
