I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
