i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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