One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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