Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
