im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
