we're blogging at a bar
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
