It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
