i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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