i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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