I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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