garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
