It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
