I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
