Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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