I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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