it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
